Do you ever wonder why you get that feeling?
Is it me?
Is it them?
Whatever it is...its a bummer.
Friday, May 8, 2009
Thursday, May 7, 2009
"I don't wanna live here."
I went to Seattle and Portland not just to visit but to figure out if the Pacific Northwest is where I want to make my next move to. Come to find out...
I don't want to live there.
I'm not sure why. I wish I could be say "it's this, this and this" but I honestly don't know. It just doesn't feel right for me. Which is kind of odd because I really love both Seattle and Portland. They are both gorgeous places, there are trees and mountains and water and bridges everywhere. There is AMAZING food which is extremely important to me and they are both very artistic places. On paper, so many things about both of those places seem 100% right but I can't deny the fact that I didn't feel it when I was there.
It's been kind of blowing my mind. A year or two ago I think I would have moved without question. So what changed? I thought I still wanted the same things in the place I move to but apparently I don't. Maybe it's the people or the big city. I would say maybe it's the weather but for the most part it was pretty nice while I was there and I can't really complain about the weather. I've never experienced the never ending days of rain. I'm not sure what it is.
I went to check out an art school in Portland and it really was exactly what I'm looking for. A small arts and craft college with an older student body and it was amazing. Made me want to be at school tomorrow and learning how to be a better artist. That said, it still didn't make Portland seem right.
I'm hoping that once I figure out where I want to go the why of "not Seattle" or "not Portland" will make more sense. I find myself being drawn more and more to the midwest and east. To smaller big cities and a slower pace. There are a lot of schools for me to go see in lots of different places. Hopefully one will speak to me and I'll be on my way.
I don't want to live there.
I'm not sure why. I wish I could be say "it's this, this and this" but I honestly don't know. It just doesn't feel right for me. Which is kind of odd because I really love both Seattle and Portland. They are both gorgeous places, there are trees and mountains and water and bridges everywhere. There is AMAZING food which is extremely important to me and they are both very artistic places. On paper, so many things about both of those places seem 100% right but I can't deny the fact that I didn't feel it when I was there.
It's been kind of blowing my mind. A year or two ago I think I would have moved without question. So what changed? I thought I still wanted the same things in the place I move to but apparently I don't. Maybe it's the people or the big city. I would say maybe it's the weather but for the most part it was pretty nice while I was there and I can't really complain about the weather. I've never experienced the never ending days of rain. I'm not sure what it is.
I went to check out an art school in Portland and it really was exactly what I'm looking for. A small arts and craft college with an older student body and it was amazing. Made me want to be at school tomorrow and learning how to be a better artist. That said, it still didn't make Portland seem right.
I'm hoping that once I figure out where I want to go the why of "not Seattle" or "not Portland" will make more sense. I find myself being drawn more and more to the midwest and east. To smaller big cities and a slower pace. There are a lot of schools for me to go see in lots of different places. Hopefully one will speak to me and I'll be on my way.
Wednesday, May 6, 2009
Homeless and Heartless
Alright here goes the first of blogs based on mini epiphanies I had on my vacation.
There are a lot of homeless people in Seattle and even more in Portland.
If you live here in So Cal, (minus LA,) I think we forget how large the homeless population really is because we actually live in the state that has been called the meanest to homeless and I think that since California is extremely non tolerant we don't really see a large homeless problem because, although it exists, we don't like to see them walking around our cities. It's almost like out of sight, out of mind.
Seattle and Portland are very different. There are homeless people everywhere and I'll be the first to admit I'm a sucker for a homeless person. Melanie got to see this first hand as we walked around Seattle and Portland and I gave money or food to almost every person that asked. It was kind of funny because I think Melanie was getting, at the very least, frustrated with me. She was pretty sure that none of those people were going to use the money for the things they said they were. I experienced the same thing when Katy was visiting from London. Coming from another place with a large population of beggars, she does not agree with me giving homeless people money. But I'll be the first person to hand over the $2 hanging out in my wallet or if I don't have small bills as Melanie witnessed first hand, I'll hand over my $5 bills too.
Now, don't get me wrong I don't for one second fault Melanie, Katy, or any else who doesn't give money to homeless people. Using Katy and Melanie as examples they are both wonderful loving people who care deeply about others and they are not wrong when they say that many people who ask for the money make a living that way. They make a living off people like me.
The difference for me is that I don't care. That may sound silly but I don't really worry or concern myself with what they are going to do with the $5 or half a pizza I gave to them. I guess I like to be positive and think that they are going to use the money for food like they said, but honestly if they took that $5 and bought beer I would still give it to them.
My way of thinking really changed when I read, Red Letters: Living a Faith that Bleeds by Tom Davis. The first chapter opens with their team in Russia and they come across a 12 - 13 year old boy who is wearing tattered clothes and he is speaking to them in Russian, which only their translator understands.
"But we did understand the voices inside our heads that spoke with equal measures of cynicism and sad resignation. Just another worthless beggar. If we gave him money, he'd probably spend it on drugs or cigarettes. If the kid really wanted help, there are plenty of shelters that could feed him or offer him a place to sleep." So Tom Davis did what so many of us do...he walked away. But he said something in his head told him to "act in a way consistent with the Savior I follow."
So he grabbed the translator and hollered for the kid and started with the simplest question, "What's your name?" Davis said, "He was no longer a beggar on the street. He was a little boy with a name...He had a story to tell. A story filled with pain and heartache. A story marked by hunger and homelessness...Just a little boy." The boy asks for Davis for help, for food, and Davis said that same voice in his head popped up and said "He'll probably buy vodka if I give him money. That inner voice - it's mine. And it very well could be speaking the truth. But it's not the voice I want to hear. I want to hear Jesus. Did he put conditions on the help he offered?"
So Davis gave money to the boy, enough for food and a bus ride to his organization, Children's Hope Chest's office in Russia and watched the boy walk away into the night. According to the story about an hour later Davis got a call from the organization saying the boy had arrived and that they would find him a safe place to live.
"My cynical inner voice was silenced."
It's an amazing story to me. One that goes much deeper than that because Davis goes on to talk about how that little boy became Jesus. Davis says he spends each day looking for Jesus because Jesus was an advocate for the helpless and in Matthew 25:40 Jesus said "Whenever you did one of these things to someone overlooked or ignored, that was me, you did it to me." So Davis believes that we can find God in the lives of the poor.
It's an awesome concept. And when I started that book it seems like about two years ago I was blown away. I know this much, that $2 in my pocket means very little to me. For the most part I would have to use it in addition to more money to buy something that I would like but for someone who has no food, no money, it's lunch and maybe dinner too. I could worry all day long about whether or not that $2 was used for food, or if that half a pizza I gave to a guy outside of Rite Aid in Portland was eaten or trashed but honestly it doesn't matter. I'm doing my best to live my life in a way that makes me feel like I am doing all that I can and in those little situations to be like Jesus and sometimes I think it's one of the easiest ways to help. And who knows, maybe someday my $2 will restore someones faith in humanity, or bring someone who's normally passed with disgust and annoyance a small amount of joy or fill the stomach of a person who hasn't had real food in days.
I'm not naive, I know many of the people who benefitted from the probably $40 worth of hand outs I gave in about a five day period will not use it on things they said they will. I know there are people who make a good living begging on the side of the freeway pulling at our heartstrings with their sad signs. But it's not my place to decide how they use that money or food and I'm ok with that.
I just challenge you to think...does it really matter if they use that money for what they say they will or does it matter that you did all you could in that moment?
I think there are a lot of things we can do and my friend Chris actually posted an awesome three part blog on something similar. I read it as I was mulling over all of this in Seattle and he brings up some pretty great point. You can get to his blog here, or you can click on the three links below if you want to go directly to each post.
As Yourself. Part One.
As Yourself, Part Two.
As Yourself, Part Three.
There are a lot of homeless people in Seattle and even more in Portland.
If you live here in So Cal, (minus LA,) I think we forget how large the homeless population really is because we actually live in the state that has been called the meanest to homeless and I think that since California is extremely non tolerant we don't really see a large homeless problem because, although it exists, we don't like to see them walking around our cities. It's almost like out of sight, out of mind.
Seattle and Portland are very different. There are homeless people everywhere and I'll be the first to admit I'm a sucker for a homeless person. Melanie got to see this first hand as we walked around Seattle and Portland and I gave money or food to almost every person that asked. It was kind of funny because I think Melanie was getting, at the very least, frustrated with me. She was pretty sure that none of those people were going to use the money for the things they said they were. I experienced the same thing when Katy was visiting from London. Coming from another place with a large population of beggars, she does not agree with me giving homeless people money. But I'll be the first person to hand over the $2 hanging out in my wallet or if I don't have small bills as Melanie witnessed first hand, I'll hand over my $5 bills too.
Now, don't get me wrong I don't for one second fault Melanie, Katy, or any else who doesn't give money to homeless people. Using Katy and Melanie as examples they are both wonderful loving people who care deeply about others and they are not wrong when they say that many people who ask for the money make a living that way. They make a living off people like me.
The difference for me is that I don't care. That may sound silly but I don't really worry or concern myself with what they are going to do with the $5 or half a pizza I gave to them. I guess I like to be positive and think that they are going to use the money for food like they said, but honestly if they took that $5 and bought beer I would still give it to them.
My way of thinking really changed when I read, Red Letters: Living a Faith that Bleeds by Tom Davis. The first chapter opens with their team in Russia and they come across a 12 - 13 year old boy who is wearing tattered clothes and he is speaking to them in Russian, which only their translator understands.
"But we did understand the voices inside our heads that spoke with equal measures of cynicism and sad resignation. Just another worthless beggar. If we gave him money, he'd probably spend it on drugs or cigarettes. If the kid really wanted help, there are plenty of shelters that could feed him or offer him a place to sleep." So Tom Davis did what so many of us do...he walked away. But he said something in his head told him to "act in a way consistent with the Savior I follow."
So he grabbed the translator and hollered for the kid and started with the simplest question, "What's your name?" Davis said, "He was no longer a beggar on the street. He was a little boy with a name...He had a story to tell. A story filled with pain and heartache. A story marked by hunger and homelessness...Just a little boy." The boy asks for Davis for help, for food, and Davis said that same voice in his head popped up and said "He'll probably buy vodka if I give him money. That inner voice - it's mine. And it very well could be speaking the truth. But it's not the voice I want to hear. I want to hear Jesus. Did he put conditions on the help he offered?"
So Davis gave money to the boy, enough for food and a bus ride to his organization, Children's Hope Chest's office in Russia and watched the boy walk away into the night. According to the story about an hour later Davis got a call from the organization saying the boy had arrived and that they would find him a safe place to live.
"My cynical inner voice was silenced."
It's an amazing story to me. One that goes much deeper than that because Davis goes on to talk about how that little boy became Jesus. Davis says he spends each day looking for Jesus because Jesus was an advocate for the helpless and in Matthew 25:40 Jesus said "Whenever you did one of these things to someone overlooked or ignored, that was me, you did it to me." So Davis believes that we can find God in the lives of the poor.
It's an awesome concept. And when I started that book it seems like about two years ago I was blown away. I know this much, that $2 in my pocket means very little to me. For the most part I would have to use it in addition to more money to buy something that I would like but for someone who has no food, no money, it's lunch and maybe dinner too. I could worry all day long about whether or not that $2 was used for food, or if that half a pizza I gave to a guy outside of Rite Aid in Portland was eaten or trashed but honestly it doesn't matter. I'm doing my best to live my life in a way that makes me feel like I am doing all that I can and in those little situations to be like Jesus and sometimes I think it's one of the easiest ways to help. And who knows, maybe someday my $2 will restore someones faith in humanity, or bring someone who's normally passed with disgust and annoyance a small amount of joy or fill the stomach of a person who hasn't had real food in days.
I'm not naive, I know many of the people who benefitted from the probably $40 worth of hand outs I gave in about a five day period will not use it on things they said they will. I know there are people who make a good living begging on the side of the freeway pulling at our heartstrings with their sad signs. But it's not my place to decide how they use that money or food and I'm ok with that.
I just challenge you to think...does it really matter if they use that money for what they say they will or does it matter that you did all you could in that moment?
I think there are a lot of things we can do and my friend Chris actually posted an awesome three part blog on something similar. I read it as I was mulling over all of this in Seattle and he brings up some pretty great point. You can get to his blog here, or you can click on the three links below if you want to go directly to each post.
As Yourself. Part One.
As Yourself, Part Two.
As Yourself, Part Three.
This came across my path this morning.
It's not one of the things I wanted to blog about from my trip but it's definitely one of my favorite topics. So I came across "10 Ways to Reduce your Environmental Footprint," and most of them are very doable. I think a lot of times we just don't think about the things we consume and the impact one little change can make.
Here's the list:
1. Eat less beef, pork, and lamb
2. Eat out at restaurants less often
3. Eat fewer dairy products
4. Drink fewer soft drinks
5. Eat seasonal and local fruits and vegetables
6. Eat fewer packaged snacks and junk food
7. Upgrade to an energy efficient refrigerator
8. Eat wild fish that are not endangered
9. Drink less bottled water
10. Walk to your local farmers market or grocery store
I already have been working on #1, #6 and #9. I've embarked on a vegetarian journey, I am working on buying my snacks out of the bins at stores like Henry's and bought a stainless steel water bottle for my water a couple months ago that I really love.
You can find the whole article here, and I think you'll be surprised at how much waste comes from cheese and soda. And it kind of blew my mind that "It takes 3 liters of water to produce 1 liter of bottled water." Check it out and let me know what you think.
Here's the list:
1. Eat less beef, pork, and lamb
2. Eat out at restaurants less often
3. Eat fewer dairy products
4. Drink fewer soft drinks
5. Eat seasonal and local fruits and vegetables
6. Eat fewer packaged snacks and junk food
7. Upgrade to an energy efficient refrigerator
8. Eat wild fish that are not endangered
9. Drink less bottled water
10. Walk to your local farmers market or grocery store
I already have been working on #1, #6 and #9. I've embarked on a vegetarian journey, I am working on buying my snacks out of the bins at stores like Henry's and bought a stainless steel water bottle for my water a couple months ago that I really love.
You can find the whole article here, and I think you'll be surprised at how much waste comes from cheese and soda. And it kind of blew my mind that "It takes 3 liters of water to produce 1 liter of bottled water." Check it out and let me know what you think.
Tuesday, May 5, 2009
I've got some things to say to you.
While I was away in Seattle I posted quite a few little picture blogs from my phone but I found myself unwilling to sit down and post a longer blog. Maybe it was the fact that every minute I was gone was planned out doing some activity with some person or maybe it was the vacation thing. You know that thing where you kind of don’t want to think about “real life” because you’re on vacation. Whatever it was, I thought about five different things that I really want to blog about, so look for the first one soon.
Sunday, May 3, 2009
Dick's is suppposed to be better than In-N-Out
There's all this hype about Dick's up here...so I tried it and for the record, In-N-Out puts Dick's to shame!
I gotta get home so I don't have to try anymore food things! :)
Experience Music Project - EMP
The EMP is a museum here in Seattle. Pretty awesome. The Johnny Cash and the 90's grunge and Nirvana stuff were my favs...but the BEST part was the sci fi museum. That was all kinds of amazing. I had to sneak photos of the sci fi stuff so there are only two.
Friday, May 1, 2009
Pho real
We had Vietnamese for dinner. Peter and Melanie had pho...I did not...but the sweet potatoes with the spicy sweet chile sauce was amazing. And check my fortune.
I bought my niece her first Pumas.
Thanks to my sister for sending me pics since I'm still in sunny Seattle. So cute! And I love how chubby this kid is!
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