I feel like I haven't blogged in ages! I've been so busy lately with so many different things that my life feels so crazy. I'm hoping it will slow down soon and I can really relax and enjoy not having a job a little bit more!
I have been crocheting a lot. This is a great thing. There have been some new additions to my repertoire. Please check them out on my site, www.nicoleguthary.com you won't be disappointed!
Monday, October 19, 2009
Wednesday, October 14, 2009
Tuesday, October 6, 2009
I've been experimenting with my hair a lot.
Now that's its getting longer I've been trying to experiment with new styles more. After my successfull frohawk I've been inspired. This was my hair for Gabe's wonderful wedding day. It was both funky and romantic and I loved it!
Sunday, September 6, 2009
My family needs prayer.
Last night as my uncle Joseph, his wife Felicia, and their family sat at home when someone approached their door and yelled "East Side Crips" and opened fire on their home. My uncle and Felicia were not hit however Felicia's daughter was grazed by a bullet, her son shot in the leg and her son's girlfriend shot in the stomach. This is a huge blow to a family that is already dealing with a family tragedy; my uncle is terminally ill with brain cancer.
If you are a person that prays then I ask that you would please pray for my family. If you would pray for the following things it would be much appreciated.
* For my uncle's illness. We are a family that believes in miracles and God's will. So we believe if it is God's will for him to be healed then that will happen, however we know that we may also lose him to this illness. I ask that you would pray for his healing and that if God's will would be to take him home then that he would not suffer long while he was here.
* For Felicia. She has been a rock of strength during this ordeal. Married less than a year when my uncle was diagnosed she has continued to love and care for him. She is a wonderfully beautiful woman in body and spirit and I would ask that you would pray for her continued strength in these trying times.
* For Felicia's family. That they will be healed both physically and emotionally from this incident and that they will find a new home quickly. Felicia does not want to return to her home where the violence occurred so I ask that you would pray that she finds a home that will be suitable for their needs as soon as possible.
* Lastly, for my family. I ask that you specifically pray for my grandmother as she struggles with the concept of losing her child. She is a true matriarch but we all know that this is a very difficult time for her. For my uncle's three children, that they would find some peace in this time. And for the rest of us. My mom, her brothers and sisters, my cousins, all of us are deeply affected by what's going on, some more than others, and I ask that you would pray for strength, peace and love. That we would all continue to be loving towards one another even when we don't understand the needs of one another.
Thank you to everyone who prays, or even who reads this and remembers my family in your thoughts. It means the world to me.
If you are a person that prays then I ask that you would please pray for my family. If you would pray for the following things it would be much appreciated.
* For my uncle's illness. We are a family that believes in miracles and God's will. So we believe if it is God's will for him to be healed then that will happen, however we know that we may also lose him to this illness. I ask that you would pray for his healing and that if God's will would be to take him home then that he would not suffer long while he was here.
* For Felicia. She has been a rock of strength during this ordeal. Married less than a year when my uncle was diagnosed she has continued to love and care for him. She is a wonderfully beautiful woman in body and spirit and I would ask that you would pray for her continued strength in these trying times.
* For Felicia's family. That they will be healed both physically and emotionally from this incident and that they will find a new home quickly. Felicia does not want to return to her home where the violence occurred so I ask that you would pray that she finds a home that will be suitable for their needs as soon as possible.
* Lastly, for my family. I ask that you specifically pray for my grandmother as she struggles with the concept of losing her child. She is a true matriarch but we all know that this is a very difficult time for her. For my uncle's three children, that they would find some peace in this time. And for the rest of us. My mom, her brothers and sisters, my cousins, all of us are deeply affected by what's going on, some more than others, and I ask that you would pray for strength, peace and love. That we would all continue to be loving towards one another even when we don't understand the needs of one another.
Thank you to everyone who prays, or even who reads this and remembers my family in your thoughts. It means the world to me.
Saturday, August 29, 2009
Thursday, August 27, 2009
School #7: The Tyler School of Art at Temple University
The Tyler School of Art at Temple University
Location: Philadelphia, PA
This was my last school tour and by far the MOST impressive facility I have yet to see at a school. Tyler is a GORGEOUS school. They have a brand new facility and it is state of the art. I about died when I saw the kiln room and the spray booth for the ceramics department. The amount of glory holes that they have for the glass students is insane. And the fibers department, holy crap! It was just intense in all ways. Tyler was my favorite school before I went on any of my tours and I know why.
So, as impressed as I was with Tyler you would think that my decision is made, right? Well, not quite yet. I'm still at a loss for what to do. More to come on that.
Location: Philadelphia, PA
This was my last school tour and by far the MOST impressive facility I have yet to see at a school. Tyler is a GORGEOUS school. They have a brand new facility and it is state of the art. I about died when I saw the kiln room and the spray booth for the ceramics department. The amount of glory holes that they have for the glass students is insane. And the fibers department, holy crap! It was just intense in all ways. Tyler was my favorite school before I went on any of my tours and I know why.
So, as impressed as I was with Tyler you would think that my decision is made, right? Well, not quite yet. I'm still at a loss for what to do. More to come on that.
Wednesday, August 26, 2009
School #6; Moore College of Art and Design
Moore College of Art and Design
Location: Philadelphia, PA
This is the only all women's school on my list, actually it's the only all women's art school in the US. Besides a lackluster tour, to say the least. There were some great redeeming qualities to this school. Firstly, it is in a great location. Swann Fountain is right outside of the school's doors and it is just beautiful.
The school is pretty centralized into two adjoining buildings. As wonderful as this is the school's facilities left a bit to the imagination. The ceramics kilns were all very small, with a moderate amount of workspace. The fibers area was better but still not great.
I think that although a nice school, I'm pretty sure this isn't the right place for me. Like Brenda said, "THERE'S NO BOYS!" haha.
Location: Philadelphia, PA
This is the only all women's school on my list, actually it's the only all women's art school in the US. Besides a lackluster tour, to say the least. There were some great redeeming qualities to this school. Firstly, it is in a great location. Swann Fountain is right outside of the school's doors and it is just beautiful.
The school is pretty centralized into two adjoining buildings. As wonderful as this is the school's facilities left a bit to the imagination. The ceramics kilns were all very small, with a moderate amount of workspace. The fibers area was better but still not great.
I think that although a nice school, I'm pretty sure this isn't the right place for me. Like Brenda said, "THERE'S NO BOYS!" haha.
School #5: U Arts
U Arts
Location: Philadelphia, PA
Unfortunately U Arts doesn't offer tours during the time I was in Philly because since the tours are given by students and classes were getting ready to start the students who work in the office were off.
I did have an extremely informational meeting with a counselor there. Her name was Joyce and she was lovely. She gave me a ton of information which really bummed me out because I wasn't able to see any of the facilities. She did let me know that even though they do have a foundation year for all of their students past classes I have taken will be taken into consideration and credits I have already earned will make a big difference.
I am hoping that when I go back to Columbus for Gabe's wedding that I might also visit UArts again to see their facilities at a time when they are running tours again.
Location: Philadelphia, PA
Unfortunately U Arts doesn't offer tours during the time I was in Philly because since the tours are given by students and classes were getting ready to start the students who work in the office were off.
I did have an extremely informational meeting with a counselor there. Her name was Joyce and she was lovely. She gave me a ton of information which really bummed me out because I wasn't able to see any of the facilities. She did let me know that even though they do have a foundation year for all of their students past classes I have taken will be taken into consideration and credits I have already earned will make a big difference.
I am hoping that when I go back to Columbus for Gabe's wedding that I might also visit UArts again to see their facilities at a time when they are running tours again.
School #4: Columbus College of Art and Design
Columbus College of Art and Design (CCAD)
Location: Columbus, Ohio
CCAD is a pretty nice school located in the heart of Columbus. I wish I could say that I think that CCAD is an option for me but I'm pretty sure that it is not. Here's why, besides the fact that it's an AMAZING school in a GREAT city they don't really offer a fibers program similar to what I am looking for. Since I am looking for a school that can provide me with both a ceramics and fibers program from a craft based perspective it's pretty important to me that the school match that criteria. Additionally there is a 1 year foundation program at CCAD that can't be avoided and I don't really want to be in a place where past classes won't credit towards those classes. An extra year = a lot of extra money I don't have.
It's kind of a bummer since I really loved and enjoyed Columbus a ton. But I have to be honest with myself and I know that a school that doesn't offer a fibers program like I am looking for isn't going to be an option.
:(
Location: Columbus, Ohio
CCAD is a pretty nice school located in the heart of Columbus. I wish I could say that I think that CCAD is an option for me but I'm pretty sure that it is not. Here's why, besides the fact that it's an AMAZING school in a GREAT city they don't really offer a fibers program similar to what I am looking for. Since I am looking for a school that can provide me with both a ceramics and fibers program from a craft based perspective it's pretty important to me that the school match that criteria. Additionally there is a 1 year foundation program at CCAD that can't be avoided and I don't really want to be in a place where past classes won't credit towards those classes. An extra year = a lot of extra money I don't have.
It's kind of a bummer since I really loved and enjoyed Columbus a ton. But I have to be honest with myself and I know that a school that doesn't offer a fibers program like I am looking for isn't going to be an option.
:(
School #3: Applachian Center of Crafts
Appalachian Center of Crafts
Location: Nashville, TN
The Appalachian Center for Crafts was about as far opposite of the School of the Art Institute. SAIC was extremely contemporary and to say that the Appalachian Center is a back to basics school is actually an understatement. To give you an idea, their students who live on campus live in log cabins. It's absolutely gorgeous and absolutely small.
Nature surrounds you wherever you look and that's probably the most amazing thing about this place. It's about as beautiful as you can get with trails to the lake and beautiful wooden buildings. The downside to all of this nature, it's about an hour from Nashville and 20 minutes from a grocery store and 45 from a movie theater or bookstore. Again, the beauty of the this place, it's seclusion, provides the perfect focus but also is probably the major downfall of this school. I'm not sure I could move away from my friends and family and not be in a place with distractions.
Facility-wise this place is pretty amazing. There are a lot of ceramics kilns which most schools can't offer because they simply don't have the room. Downside, the fibers facilities were a bit lackluster. All in all, a gorgeous school that would provide me with an experience I couldn't get anywhere else.
Location: Nashville, TN
The Appalachian Center for Crafts was about as far opposite of the School of the Art Institute. SAIC was extremely contemporary and to say that the Appalachian Center is a back to basics school is actually an understatement. To give you an idea, their students who live on campus live in log cabins. It's absolutely gorgeous and absolutely small.
Nature surrounds you wherever you look and that's probably the most amazing thing about this place. It's about as beautiful as you can get with trails to the lake and beautiful wooden buildings. The downside to all of this nature, it's about an hour from Nashville and 20 minutes from a grocery store and 45 from a movie theater or bookstore. Again, the beauty of the this place, it's seclusion, provides the perfect focus but also is probably the major downfall of this school. I'm not sure I could move away from my friends and family and not be in a place with distractions.
Facility-wise this place is pretty amazing. There are a lot of ceramics kilns which most schools can't offer because they simply don't have the room. Downside, the fibers facilities were a bit lackluster. All in all, a gorgeous school that would provide me with an experience I couldn't get anywhere else.
Saturday, August 15, 2009
Thursday, August 13, 2009
Monday, August 10, 2009
School #2: School of the Art Institute Chicago
Name: School of the Art Institute Chicago or SAIC
Location: Chicago, IL
Talk about culture shock! So I've never lived in a true city, I'd even venture to say that what we have here in California aren't true cities. We have LA and San Fran but they definitely don't have the big city feel that Chicago has.
SAIC is located in the heart of Chicago. One of the buildings is attached to the the Art Institute which is right across from Milennium Park. The other buildings are all within about a 2 - 3 block walking distance of one another. Most of the fine arts rooms are located in the building attached to the museum. This includes the ceramics studio along with all of the kilns. It's crazy to see EVERYTHING enclosed in an indoor space. The ventilation system there is intense because it has to be.
It's also kind of weird that there are rooms in there that don't have any natural light. They're closer to the inner parts of the buildings so there are no windows. Crit rooms like the one below are a great example of this. A lot of their internal space for art shows is similar.
The fibers program is housed in another building.
I found so many things fascinating about this school. One was the crazy, urban cityscape. That would definitely be something new for me that would leave me with endless things to explore. This could also leave me yearning to get out of the city and be around some trees and mountains (which I'm pretty sure IL doesn't have.)
The second, they don't have grades! I think that for an art school this is actually a great concept. They don't want you to be focused on keeping your GPA up they want you to be focused on creating amazing art. So you either pass or fail. I'm not a fan of this system for everything but I think for art it's a win win.
A possible downfall for me...SAIC is VERY contemporary. They have a lot of traditional tools so that you can learn how things were done but they focus heavily on a contemporary way to do the same things. For example, they require all of their students to have 15" Mac Book Pros (don't get me started on this...) because for pretty much everything you do you can use a machine that you plug your computer into and it does whatever for you. Like they have traditional blacksmithing tools but they also have machines that will cut metal based on what your computer tells it to do. This kind of weirds me out, mainly because my focus is more traditional and craft based. I can see the advantage in it but I also can see it being something I don't want to focus on.
All in all an AMAZING school but still not sure if it's right for me.
Location: Chicago, IL
Talk about culture shock! So I've never lived in a true city, I'd even venture to say that what we have here in California aren't true cities. We have LA and San Fran but they definitely don't have the big city feel that Chicago has.
SAIC is located in the heart of Chicago. One of the buildings is attached to the the Art Institute which is right across from Milennium Park. The other buildings are all within about a 2 - 3 block walking distance of one another. Most of the fine arts rooms are located in the building attached to the museum. This includes the ceramics studio along with all of the kilns. It's crazy to see EVERYTHING enclosed in an indoor space. The ventilation system there is intense because it has to be.
It's also kind of weird that there are rooms in there that don't have any natural light. They're closer to the inner parts of the buildings so there are no windows. Crit rooms like the one below are a great example of this. A lot of their internal space for art shows is similar.
The fibers program is housed in another building.
I found so many things fascinating about this school. One was the crazy, urban cityscape. That would definitely be something new for me that would leave me with endless things to explore. This could also leave me yearning to get out of the city and be around some trees and mountains (which I'm pretty sure IL doesn't have.)
The second, they don't have grades! I think that for an art school this is actually a great concept. They don't want you to be focused on keeping your GPA up they want you to be focused on creating amazing art. So you either pass or fail. I'm not a fan of this system for everything but I think for art it's a win win.
A possible downfall for me...SAIC is VERY contemporary. They have a lot of traditional tools so that you can learn how things were done but they focus heavily on a contemporary way to do the same things. For example, they require all of their students to have 15" Mac Book Pros (don't get me started on this...) because for pretty much everything you do you can use a machine that you plug your computer into and it does whatever for you. Like they have traditional blacksmithing tools but they also have machines that will cut metal based on what your computer tells it to do. This kind of weirds me out, mainly because my focus is more traditional and craft based. I can see the advantage in it but I also can see it being something I don't want to focus on.
All in all an AMAZING school but still not sure if it's right for me.
Friday, August 7, 2009
School #1: The Oregon College of Arts and Crafts
Since everyone keeps asking about my travels to look for the perfect school I figured I would post a blog about each one to keep you all posted. I really get overwhelmed by the question since I am still so unsure about what I am doing so I figured this would be easiest for everyone.
So, here we go.
School #1: Oregon College of Arts and Crafts, or OCAC
Location: Portland, OR
A beautiful, small campus located about 10 - 15 minutes from the heart of the city on the train.
Things that I absolutely loved about this school were that it is so beautiful. Most of Portland is gorgeous and green and that is definitely a plus for me. The school is also pretty small and consists of mostly older students. So basically it's a small community full of people who are like me; about 25 - 29 and making a career change. I find that an extremely attractive quality in this school.
The facilities are nice and not too modern. Another quality I find wonderful. I'm definitely interested in a craft based focus that isn't too contemporary. This school seemed to have that quality and feel.
Now, some negatives...it's in Portland. I found that people there to be, well, less than friendly. I'll be honest as far as the school went and the people I encountered there it was lovely and a perfect fit...but...the time I spent just around Portland really made me feel less than enthused about moving there.
Sad to say...I think that this school might be perfect for me if it just wasn't in Portland.
So, here we go.
School #1: Oregon College of Arts and Crafts, or OCAC
Location: Portland, OR
A beautiful, small campus located about 10 - 15 minutes from the heart of the city on the train.
Things that I absolutely loved about this school were that it is so beautiful. Most of Portland is gorgeous and green and that is definitely a plus for me. The school is also pretty small and consists of mostly older students. So basically it's a small community full of people who are like me; about 25 - 29 and making a career change. I find that an extremely attractive quality in this school.
The facilities are nice and not too modern. Another quality I find wonderful. I'm definitely interested in a craft based focus that isn't too contemporary. This school seemed to have that quality and feel.
Now, some negatives...it's in Portland. I found that people there to be, well, less than friendly. I'll be honest as far as the school went and the people I encountered there it was lovely and a perfect fit...but...the time I spent just around Portland really made me feel less than enthused about moving there.
Sad to say...I think that this school might be perfect for me if it just wasn't in Portland.
Tuesday, August 4, 2009
I need your help!
I'm thinking of renaming my business. I love my current logo and all, (thank you Candice for your amazingness what seems like forever ago,) however I just think I need a name that's a bit better than "handmade by nicole." I think when I originally thought of the name I wanted to use I was trying to keep things simple, but it turns out that NO ONE can spell my last name correctly. It's the curse of the "ARY" instead of the "RIE."
This is where I need your help.
I need a new name. Suggestions are being taken starting...NOW! I can't offer you much, but I can say this winner gets a personally made knitted or crocheted item of their choice! That's right, I said it! So let's hear them people, name my business!
I submit for your enjoyment the following:
Nikki's Nick Nacks
Nikki Knits (this kind of isn't my own creation.)
Oh, and my name doesn't need to be in it or if you'd like you can use any of my various nicknames.
BTW, if you've never visited www.nicoleguthary.com go check it out, maybe it will bring you inspiration!
This is where I need your help.
I need a new name. Suggestions are being taken starting...NOW! I can't offer you much, but I can say this winner gets a personally made knitted or crocheted item of their choice! That's right, I said it! So let's hear them people, name my business!
I submit for your enjoyment the following:
Nikki's Nick Nacks
Nikki Knits (this kind of isn't my own creation.)
Oh, and my name doesn't need to be in it or if you'd like you can use any of my various nicknames.
BTW, if you've never visited www.nicoleguthary.com go check it out, maybe it will bring you inspiration!
Monday, July 20, 2009
Saturday, July 18, 2009
Friday, July 10, 2009
This stuff works miracles!
Thank you Burt's Bees for helping my sunburn feel more like regular skin.
Thursday, July 9, 2009
Thursday, July 2, 2009
Tuesday, June 30, 2009
"Windows is shutting down"
Saying goodbye to 8 years is hard. I'm panicked but I'm ready. Here we go God, turn the page.
Friday, June 26, 2009
My conversation at the car wash.
This just happened to me while I was crocheting waiting on the Xterra at the car wash.
Dude at car wash: I haven't seen anyone do that in forever.
Me: Yeah, I'm an old lady.
Dude: *laughs* I didn't say all that.
Me: It's ok, it's the truth.
Dude: Well it gives you something to do right? I mean something besides reading. I hate to read.
Me: Well I like to read too. I really am an old lady.
Dude: *nods* Well, at least you don't look like one.
Confirmation! I indeed act like an old lady.
Monday, June 22, 2009
Change is imminent.
Iran is changing.
Most agree that this has been brewing for a long time and that it will be a positive change for Iran. I wish I understood more about what is really going on there, I'm reading, I'm trying to learn. It's tough to pin down the history of a whole country and understand why they feel the way they do. I only wish the photos of the wounded and dead were unnecessary. And I wonder, how much is enough?
It breaks my heart every time.
Last week I read an article on CNN.com about human trafficking. The story, "Recession Boosts Human Trafficking." Apparently the bad economy is actually increasing human trafficking, which I guess is no surprise but it's so disheartening to me.
"The report cites the International Labor Organization, which estimates that at least 12.3 million adults and children are victims of forced labor, bonded labor and sex slavery each year."
Did you know that there are only 525,600 minutes in a year? This means that about 24 people are trafficked every minute of every year. That's incredible to me. I am shocked by the amount of people who think that this isn't a problem, that think slavery is dead. Slavery is alive and well today, and it's probably a multi billion dollar industry when you think of how much work these poor people are subjected to.
The report released by the State Department rates countries on a Tier 1, Tier 2 and Tier 3 scale. Tier 3 countries are black list countries, countries that have a severe human trafficking problem.
"...six African nations -- Chad, Eritrea, Mauritania, Niger, Swaziland and Zimbabwe -- were put on the report's "Tier 3" blacklist of countries whose efforts to combat trafficking are inadequate.
Most of the countries are "source" and "destination" countries, the report says, meaning trafficking victims both come from and are sent there. Most are trafficked throughout Africa, but many end up in the Middle East, it says.
Iran, Kuwait, Saudi Arabia and Syria remain on the blacklist for another year, with the report saying they often become a destination for trafficked persons who are sold into domestic servitude. Other repeat offenders on the list include North Korea, Myanmar and Fiji.
The State Department also put Malaysia in the Tier 3 list, because of its trafficking of Burmese refugees.
The report cites information that Malaysian immigration officials sold refugees to traffickers operating along its border with Thailand. When the victims were unable to pay a ransom demanded by the traffickers, the report says, they were sold for labor and commercial sex exploitation."
I don't understand how people can exploit another human being this way. Take another person's mother, wife, husband, child and force them into work or worse force them into sexual exploitation all for their own financial gain. It's disgusting. Whether you are religious or not most cultures seem to teach "treat others as you'd like to be treated" in one way or another. And if you are religious, Christian in particular, I think human trafficking is the exact opposite of what Jesus taught us, "love your neighbor as yourself." I don't think I even need to get into how human trafficking is not loving.
I guess there were some promising parts of the article, "African countries Nigeria and Mauritius are praised in the report for making strong efforts to combat trafficking." And if you're wondering how the US does on this list we currently don't rank ourselves however "The US will rank ourselves on the report for the first time next year." There were 132 trafficking investigations opened in the US in 2008 resulting in 139 arrests and 94 convications. All I can say to that is, it's a START. I guess we have to start somewhere.
If you'd like to read the article you can do so here.
If you'd like to look at the report it is provided on the US State Department's website, http://www.state.gov/g/tip/rls/tiprpt/2009/index.htm.
Also, there is a great organization called Stop the Traffik and you can check our their website for more information.
"The report cites the International Labor Organization, which estimates that at least 12.3 million adults and children are victims of forced labor, bonded labor and sex slavery each year."
Did you know that there are only 525,600 minutes in a year? This means that about 24 people are trafficked every minute of every year. That's incredible to me. I am shocked by the amount of people who think that this isn't a problem, that think slavery is dead. Slavery is alive and well today, and it's probably a multi billion dollar industry when you think of how much work these poor people are subjected to.
The report released by the State Department rates countries on a Tier 1, Tier 2 and Tier 3 scale. Tier 3 countries are black list countries, countries that have a severe human trafficking problem.
"...six African nations -- Chad, Eritrea, Mauritania, Niger, Swaziland and Zimbabwe -- were put on the report's "Tier 3" blacklist of countries whose efforts to combat trafficking are inadequate.
Most of the countries are "source" and "destination" countries, the report says, meaning trafficking victims both come from and are sent there. Most are trafficked throughout Africa, but many end up in the Middle East, it says.
Iran, Kuwait, Saudi Arabia and Syria remain on the blacklist for another year, with the report saying they often become a destination for trafficked persons who are sold into domestic servitude. Other repeat offenders on the list include North Korea, Myanmar and Fiji.
The State Department also put Malaysia in the Tier 3 list, because of its trafficking of Burmese refugees.
The report cites information that Malaysian immigration officials sold refugees to traffickers operating along its border with Thailand. When the victims were unable to pay a ransom demanded by the traffickers, the report says, they were sold for labor and commercial sex exploitation."
I don't understand how people can exploit another human being this way. Take another person's mother, wife, husband, child and force them into work or worse force them into sexual exploitation all for their own financial gain. It's disgusting. Whether you are religious or not most cultures seem to teach "treat others as you'd like to be treated" in one way or another. And if you are religious, Christian in particular, I think human trafficking is the exact opposite of what Jesus taught us, "love your neighbor as yourself." I don't think I even need to get into how human trafficking is not loving.
I guess there were some promising parts of the article, "African countries Nigeria and Mauritius are praised in the report for making strong efforts to combat trafficking." And if you're wondering how the US does on this list we currently don't rank ourselves however "The US will rank ourselves on the report for the first time next year." There were 132 trafficking investigations opened in the US in 2008 resulting in 139 arrests and 94 convications. All I can say to that is, it's a START. I guess we have to start somewhere.
If you'd like to read the article you can do so here.
If you'd like to look at the report it is provided on the US State Department's website, http://www.state.gov/g/tip/rls/tiprpt/2009/index.htm.
Also, there is a great organization called Stop the Traffik and you can check our their website for more information.
Friday, June 19, 2009
My first Tweet
Apparently this is the first thing "I" twittered:
"im black, im beautiful, and im on twitter!"
haha, at least my impersonator got 2 out of 3 right! ;)
"im black, im beautiful, and im on twitter!"
haha, at least my impersonator got 2 out of 3 right! ;)
Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery?
I got this email this morning.
from Mark Stickney
to Nicole Guthary
do my eyes deceive me???????
welcome, i won't judge
---------- Forwarded message ----------
From: Twitter
Date: Thu, Jun 18, 2009 at 9:11 PM
Subject: Nicole Guthary is now following you on Twitter!
Hi, Mark Stickney.
Nicole Guthary (NicoleGuthary) is now following your updates on Twitter.
A little information about Nicole Guthary:
0 followers
0 updates
following 64 people
You may follow Nicole Guthary as well by clicking on the "follow"
button on their profile.You may also block Nicole Guthary if you don't
want them to follow you.
The Twitter Team
The funny thing about all of this is that I didn't join Twitter! I still don't have any desire to be on Twitter so please let me know if I say anything funny, offensive, or noteworthy.
from Mark Stickney
to Nicole Guthary
do my eyes deceive me???????
welcome, i won't judge
---------- Forwarded message ----------
From: Twitter
Date: Thu, Jun 18, 2009 at 9:11 PM
Subject: Nicole Guthary is now following you on Twitter!
Hi, Mark Stickney.
Nicole Guthary (NicoleGuthary) is now following your updates on Twitter.
A little information about Nicole Guthary:
0 followers
0 updates
following 64 people
You may follow Nicole Guthary as well by clicking on the "follow"
button on their profile.You may also block Nicole Guthary if you don't
want them to follow you.
The Twitter Team
The funny thing about all of this is that I didn't join Twitter! I still don't have any desire to be on Twitter so please let me know if I say anything funny, offensive, or noteworthy.
Monday, June 15, 2009
Sunday, June 14, 2009
Tagged by Brenda
Music Shuffle
Once you’ve been tagged… (1) Turn on your MP3 player or I guess your music player on your computer if you don’t have an MP3 player. (2) Go to SHUFFLE songs mode. (3) Write down the first 25 songs that come up–song title and artist–NO editing/cheating, please. (4) Choose 5 people to be tagged. (I don't really have anyone to tag that hasn't been tagged already so I kind of just did this for fun.)
1. Grey Dawn Breaking - Tiger Army
2. Ask the Lonely - Journey
3. I Would Never Want to be Young Again - Gogol Bordello
4. Nothin' - Reel Big Fish
5. Sing Me Back Home - Merle Haggard
6. Little Moments - Brad Paisley
7. Stir In Me - Todd Proctor
8. The Future's So Bright, I Gotta Wear Shades - Timbuk 3
9. Three Days - Janes Addiction
10. Baby I Like It - Slightly Stoopid
11. Blue - The Julies
12. Why Can't I Be You - The Cure
13. Teenagers from Mars - The Misfits
14. She has a Girlfriend Now - Reel Big Fish
15. All the Way - Frank Sinatra
16. Shout to the North - Delirious?
17. Intro - India Arie
18. Semi-Charmed Life - Third Eye Blind
19. Hot Line - The Bomboras
20. Nasty Girl - Notorious B.I.G, Diddy, Nelly, Jagged Edge, Avery Storm
21. The Best Day - George Straight
22. Oh No - Gogol Bordello
23. Night of the Living Dead - The Misfits
24. Our Last Night - ABBA
25. Smackwater Jack - Carole King
Once you’ve been tagged… (1) Turn on your MP3 player or I guess your music player on your computer if you don’t have an MP3 player. (2) Go to SHUFFLE songs mode. (3) Write down the first 25 songs that come up–song title and artist–NO editing/cheating, please. (4) Choose 5 people to be tagged. (I don't really have anyone to tag that hasn't been tagged already so I kind of just did this for fun.)
1. Grey Dawn Breaking - Tiger Army
2. Ask the Lonely - Journey
3. I Would Never Want to be Young Again - Gogol Bordello
4. Nothin' - Reel Big Fish
5. Sing Me Back Home - Merle Haggard
6. Little Moments - Brad Paisley
7. Stir In Me - Todd Proctor
8. The Future's So Bright, I Gotta Wear Shades - Timbuk 3
9. Three Days - Janes Addiction
10. Baby I Like It - Slightly Stoopid
11. Blue - The Julies
12. Why Can't I Be You - The Cure
13. Teenagers from Mars - The Misfits
14. She has a Girlfriend Now - Reel Big Fish
15. All the Way - Frank Sinatra
16. Shout to the North - Delirious?
17. Intro - India Arie
18. Semi-Charmed Life - Third Eye Blind
19. Hot Line - The Bomboras
20. Nasty Girl - Notorious B.I.G, Diddy, Nelly, Jagged Edge, Avery Storm
21. The Best Day - George Straight
22. Oh No - Gogol Bordello
23. Night of the Living Dead - The Misfits
24. Our Last Night - ABBA
25. Smackwater Jack - Carole King
Saturday, June 13, 2009
I just watched Mean Girls and now on to The Sweetest Thing
Ok, I know, I'm a total woman. This blog was supposed to be titled "Sex and the City and The View" which also makes me a total woman, but I figured it was imperative to point out what I am currently watching.
I've been thinking about writing this blog for over a week now. I guess I just haven't gotten around to it or maybe I've been marinating on the topic...anyhow...here's how it all started.
I was watching The View, which I do everyday now that I work from home and for the most part I really don't pay attention to it but sometimes a topic or guest catches my eye. This time it was Edie Falco, she played the wife on The Sopranos, they were talking to her about some new show she's on but that wasn't what caught my attention, what caught my attention was the fact that she has adopted two kids, a boy and a girl. Then after Edie the next guest, Nia Vardalos, (you know the girl from My Big Fat Greek Wedding,) was on. She talked about her 3 year old daughter who she just adopted from foster care.
Then that was when it hit me, these two women both very famous with lives that are successful by many standards both felt like they were missing something, children, and they both chose adoption. Nia Vardalos tried for 10 years to have a child when she and her husband decided that adoption was what was best for them. I think it's even more inspiring that she chose to adopt a 3 year old from the foster care system because so many people won't consider foster children. With Edie Falco it was a little bit different, she isn't married. She just really wanted children, so she adopted two.
I wonder if I could ever adopt children alone. I mean if I were married I would love to adopt. I personally have no desire to have a child that carries my DNA, I would gladly do it for my husband if it was something he really wanted but I just feel like there are already so many kids out there that need parents. But could I do that alone, would I want to do that alone? I don't know. I think about it a lot, if I continue to live a single life then at what point do I say to myself that I want children badly enough to adopt? I don't know the answer to this question. It's definitely not now or any time soon but I often think about whether or not I could raise a child alone.
Then there was the Sex and the City movie. That movie hinges on the fact that some relationships are unconventional and the second we try to place societal norms on these relationships then often times you lose the magic. Evidenced in the movie by Carrie and Mr. Big's wedding, or lack therof, and then their later wedding.
This also got me thinking. I have unconventional views of marriage. Maybe that's because of my life; divorced parents at 3, mom divorced again at about 19, my dad refusing to marry again but having the same girlfriend since I was 13. I just wonder sometimes if a conventional marriage relationship is right for everyone, I'm not talking biblically just more socially I guess. I wonder often if I will end up married or single or something in the middle...but I guess I do know that I won't end up in the typical movie romance. I'm just not the typical movie romance girl.
Idk, a lot of things have been swirling around in my head lately. I'm 99% sure that it all comes from the fact that nothing in my life is stable and change is sure to be coming in every part of my life. Which is exciting and scary and makes me think about everything even more than I would normally, which is a lot since I over analyze EVERYTHING.
BTW, if you've never seen The Sweetest Thing you really should, it's fantastic.
AND...Clueless just started. I'm never going to sleep...
I've been thinking about writing this blog for over a week now. I guess I just haven't gotten around to it or maybe I've been marinating on the topic...anyhow...here's how it all started.
I was watching The View, which I do everyday now that I work from home and for the most part I really don't pay attention to it but sometimes a topic or guest catches my eye. This time it was Edie Falco, she played the wife on The Sopranos, they were talking to her about some new show she's on but that wasn't what caught my attention, what caught my attention was the fact that she has adopted two kids, a boy and a girl. Then after Edie the next guest, Nia Vardalos, (you know the girl from My Big Fat Greek Wedding,) was on. She talked about her 3 year old daughter who she just adopted from foster care.
Then that was when it hit me, these two women both very famous with lives that are successful by many standards both felt like they were missing something, children, and they both chose adoption. Nia Vardalos tried for 10 years to have a child when she and her husband decided that adoption was what was best for them. I think it's even more inspiring that she chose to adopt a 3 year old from the foster care system because so many people won't consider foster children. With Edie Falco it was a little bit different, she isn't married. She just really wanted children, so she adopted two.
I wonder if I could ever adopt children alone. I mean if I were married I would love to adopt. I personally have no desire to have a child that carries my DNA, I would gladly do it for my husband if it was something he really wanted but I just feel like there are already so many kids out there that need parents. But could I do that alone, would I want to do that alone? I don't know. I think about it a lot, if I continue to live a single life then at what point do I say to myself that I want children badly enough to adopt? I don't know the answer to this question. It's definitely not now or any time soon but I often think about whether or not I could raise a child alone.
Then there was the Sex and the City movie. That movie hinges on the fact that some relationships are unconventional and the second we try to place societal norms on these relationships then often times you lose the magic. Evidenced in the movie by Carrie and Mr. Big's wedding, or lack therof, and then their later wedding.
This also got me thinking. I have unconventional views of marriage. Maybe that's because of my life; divorced parents at 3, mom divorced again at about 19, my dad refusing to marry again but having the same girlfriend since I was 13. I just wonder sometimes if a conventional marriage relationship is right for everyone, I'm not talking biblically just more socially I guess. I wonder often if I will end up married or single or something in the middle...but I guess I do know that I won't end up in the typical movie romance. I'm just not the typical movie romance girl.
Idk, a lot of things have been swirling around in my head lately. I'm 99% sure that it all comes from the fact that nothing in my life is stable and change is sure to be coming in every part of my life. Which is exciting and scary and makes me think about everything even more than I would normally, which is a lot since I over analyze EVERYTHING.
BTW, if you've never seen The Sweetest Thing you really should, it's fantastic.
AND...Clueless just started. I'm never going to sleep...
Thursday, June 11, 2009
It may have been hell...
But it was totally worth it to see Liana graduate. My sister is an amazing person, student and mother. I'm so proud of her for making a better life for herself and Analee.
Congrtulations Ana Banana!
Sunday, May 31, 2009
Charlie Hall
Sometimes in a song there's just a lyric that hits you in the right spot. You know that lyric, the one that says exactly how you're feeling. The one that the singer sings exactly how you would say it. That lyric that just kind of gets you.
Today it was Charlie Hall and the way he says, "but Jesus today I'm so tired." He sings it with this emotion that just feels exactly how I feel, sounds exactly how I would say it. It really got to me...in a good way.
"Jesus today I am tired,
I need your music to come and inspire,
I give myself to be refined in this fire,
but Jesus today I’m so tired."
Today it was Charlie Hall and the way he says, "but Jesus today I'm so tired." He sings it with this emotion that just feels exactly how I feel, sounds exactly how I would say it. It really got to me...in a good way.
"Jesus today I am tired,
I need your music to come and inspire,
I give myself to be refined in this fire,
but Jesus today I’m so tired."
Confidence
Dictionary.com lists the following definition for the word confident:
con⋅fi⋅dent –adjective
I fully realized today the extent of my lack of confidence. I was on the website for Temple University's Tyler School of Art and I was reading the portfolio requirements for transfer students. I have copied them below for your perusal.
Transfer students seeking admission into the Tyler BFA program must submit a CD-ROM of at least 20 images that represent artwork from studio courses taken. All transfer applicants must include images of work that show five examples of drawing from observation regardless of the major you wish to pursue. If you have completed over 36 credits in studio art, and are applying for admission into a BFA major, it is important to include images of work that reflect preparation for that major. CD images should be in jpeg format, 72 dpi, no larger than 600 pixels in length or width. Do not place images in PowerPoint. Please include a text document describing the images submitted- this should be included on the CD.
The 20 images of artwork from studio courses taken...not a problem. It's the "five examples of drawing from observation" that freaks me out. I don't really enjoy drawing, I enjoy the outcome when I draw something really awesome and usually I am actually surprised that I am able to set out to draw something and actually do a fairly decent job. For example, this little robin. I'm actually proud of the cute lil' drawing. It came out much better than I had anticipated.
But here's the thing...I drew the robin from a photo. Sitting down and drawing anything while I'm looking at it, well it intimidates me to no end. Can I do it? Well, I have in the past. Do I want to do it? NO! I understand why they want to see drawings, I know that regardless of the area you choose drawing is the fundamental of all fundamentals.
So when I read that I would have to do FIVE observation drawings I freaked out. And I realized that I have no confidence in myself that I can actually do this. I realized it when I thought to myself, "I just need someone to tell me that I'm good enough."
Wait a minute...WHAT?!?! Who needs someone to tell them that they are good enough to achieve their life long dream? I mean, I want to do this like I have wanted to do nothing else in my life. I want to live art. I want to be successful in it. Everything in my life is lining up so that I have the opportunity to go to school and fulfill my dreams.
So why do I doubt my own abilities? It's all a lack of confidence. I've been realizing that I lack confidence in a lot of areas. I've noticed it, it's been brought to my attention by other people, I mean it's annoying. Sure I am confident in some things and those things that I am confident in I do excel in and that's because in those areas I actually believe in myself. Confidence is beautiful, bold, sexy, empowering. People love a confident person. It's something that attracts us to others whether it be mentors, partners, friends. Confidence is alluring.
So what do I do about this? I've decided I start believing in myself. I believe God gave me a gift and I need to use it. I believe this because I feel it. Other people see it and I think God has given me confirmation over and over that this is something I should pursue and he's given me an artist's mentality. He's given me the opportunity in so many ways to go after it now when it's never been the option before. It's so clear and I am not going to deny it. This is what I have to do and no set of portfolio requirements is going to stand in my way.
PERIOD.
I am going to believe in myself and in my abilities. I am going to transfer this belief to other parts of my life and live my life confident of the woman that I am. I know that right now confidence isn't something that's going to come easy to me, there's a lot going on and I honestly can't think or feel straight 95% of the time so it's going to be a little bit of a struggle but I refuse to lack the confidence I need to trust myself.
I refuse to let my dreams squash themselves because I won't let them happen. I REFUSE. God made me a confident woman and now I am going to believe in her.
con⋅fi⋅dent –adjective
| 1. | having strong belief or full assurance; sure: confident of fulfillment. |
| 2. | sure of oneself; having no uncertainty about one's own abilities, correctness, successfulness, etc.; self-confident; bold: a confident speaker. |
| 3. | excessively bold; presumptuous. |
| 4. | Obsolete. trustful or confiding. |
I fully realized today the extent of my lack of confidence. I was on the website for Temple University's Tyler School of Art and I was reading the portfolio requirements for transfer students. I have copied them below for your perusal.
Transfer students seeking admission into the Tyler BFA program must submit a CD-ROM of at least 20 images that represent artwork from studio courses taken. All transfer applicants must include images of work that show five examples of drawing from observation regardless of the major you wish to pursue. If you have completed over 36 credits in studio art, and are applying for admission into a BFA major, it is important to include images of work that reflect preparation for that major. CD images should be in jpeg format, 72 dpi, no larger than 600 pixels in length or width. Do not place images in PowerPoint. Please include a text document describing the images submitted- this should be included on the CD.
The 20 images of artwork from studio courses taken...not a problem. It's the "five examples of drawing from observation" that freaks me out. I don't really enjoy drawing, I enjoy the outcome when I draw something really awesome and usually I am actually surprised that I am able to set out to draw something and actually do a fairly decent job. For example, this little robin. I'm actually proud of the cute lil' drawing. It came out much better than I had anticipated.
But here's the thing...I drew the robin from a photo. Sitting down and drawing anything while I'm looking at it, well it intimidates me to no end. Can I do it? Well, I have in the past. Do I want to do it? NO! I understand why they want to see drawings, I know that regardless of the area you choose drawing is the fundamental of all fundamentals.
So when I read that I would have to do FIVE observation drawings I freaked out. And I realized that I have no confidence in myself that I can actually do this. I realized it when I thought to myself, "I just need someone to tell me that I'm good enough."
Wait a minute...WHAT?!?! Who needs someone to tell them that they are good enough to achieve their life long dream? I mean, I want to do this like I have wanted to do nothing else in my life. I want to live art. I want to be successful in it. Everything in my life is lining up so that I have the opportunity to go to school and fulfill my dreams.
So why do I doubt my own abilities? It's all a lack of confidence. I've been realizing that I lack confidence in a lot of areas. I've noticed it, it's been brought to my attention by other people, I mean it's annoying. Sure I am confident in some things and those things that I am confident in I do excel in and that's because in those areas I actually believe in myself. Confidence is beautiful, bold, sexy, empowering. People love a confident person. It's something that attracts us to others whether it be mentors, partners, friends. Confidence is alluring.
So what do I do about this? I've decided I start believing in myself. I believe God gave me a gift and I need to use it. I believe this because I feel it. Other people see it and I think God has given me confirmation over and over that this is something I should pursue and he's given me an artist's mentality. He's given me the opportunity in so many ways to go after it now when it's never been the option before. It's so clear and I am not going to deny it. This is what I have to do and no set of portfolio requirements is going to stand in my way.
PERIOD.
I am going to believe in myself and in my abilities. I am going to transfer this belief to other parts of my life and live my life confident of the woman that I am. I know that right now confidence isn't something that's going to come easy to me, there's a lot going on and I honestly can't think or feel straight 95% of the time so it's going to be a little bit of a struggle but I refuse to lack the confidence I need to trust myself.
I refuse to let my dreams squash themselves because I won't let them happen. I REFUSE. God made me a confident woman and now I am going to believe in her.
I had forgotten...
Monday, May 11, 2009
I'm kind of afraid to post this one.
I adore my gay and lesbian friends. I don't like to classify my friends by their sexual orientation, gender, race, ethnicity, etc. but this blog is more about something that I discovered while I was on my trip in Seattle so for this blog I guess I'll have to.
I met up with a lot of friends while I was in Seattle, and I would say that roughly half of the people I wanted to see while I was in Seattle happen to be gay. Now I'll be the first person to admit...I have horrible gaydar. I think that it's more that I don't really care if you're gay or straight and that translates into me not being very good at being able to tell what other people's sexual proclivities are. (Which, by the way, I am totally fine with.) But if you expect me to know you're gay or lesbian and you haven't told me, chances are...I'll have no idea when you finally decide to tell me.
I came to this realization when a former co-worker of mine asked me if I knew when we worked together that he was gay. I was kind of stuck on how to respond...so I was honest, I just said, "I don't know, I guess I didn't really care and I never really thought about it." Which was a fine answer and I think he was just more curious than anything else. But when we got home I said to Melanie, "He doesn't really seem gay does he?" and Melanie said "Well, I don't like to think of people that way. I would never say 'Well, he doesn't really act black does he?'"
Ouch! Man, I felt so stupid. I guess I was just glad that I hadn't said that in front of other people but it's so true. I felt so stupid and ignorant because I knew better than to say something like that. I think that the media's portrayal of gay men and women has permeated my thinking and I don't even realize that I have put some aspect of this whole group of people in a box. I like to think that I don't judge people on their anything, and I know that sometimes we make judgments that we don't even realize we are making (please see above comment,) but I guess I am glad that at least I realize that I have to be more sensitive to what I say.
It all comes down to one thing, I ADORE my gay and lesbian friends. They are all wonderful people who have treated me with nothing but love and respect. They are wonderful friends, family members, parents, etc. I don't judge them for their lifestyle and they don't judge me for mine.
Please don't make any assumptions on how I feel about this topic without asking me first however without getting into any of my feelings about whether "being gay" is right or wrong, I will say this, it's no secret to anyone that I believe in Christ and his message and the bible but I also believe it's not my place to pass judgment on anyone. I don't love you any less because you are a liar, cheater, lustful, etc. and I would not love my gay and lesbian friends any less because someone thinks they are committing a sin. And more importantly I don't believe Christ would love anyone less for any sin they commit because when it all comes down to it we are all sinners.
I know that there are people who would say "Well the bible says that it's wrong." Well the bible also says that a ton of other things are wrong too and I know people who do a lot of those things on a daily basis, me included, so why would I judge anyone for doing any of those things? Gay or straight you could still be a liar, cheater, lustful, etc. It's really that simple, unless you do something to me that would make me question if your friendship is right for me, then I have no right to say your lifestyle is reason enough for me not to be associated with you.
I do have to admit to one thing that I do feel that I know is somewhat controversial and could get me into hot water with some people but I met a person once who chose to ignore their feelings towards the same sex to pursue a family because they don't feel that being a homosexual person is right. This person is religious and feels that their feelings towards the same sex is just their issue to deal with, just like you and I might deal with addiction or lying or promiscuity.
I'm not arguing for or against born gay versus choosing to be gay because for me that really isn't the point. I just think everything is a choice. This person has taught me that you can choose to have a different life if that is what you want. Everything is a choice. I step outside the house and choose every single day not to be the person I once was. I loved a lot of who I was...it was fun, free, very different than who I am now and it's a difficult choice not to be that person each and every day for several reasons.
So this amazing person has taught me through their decision to be a heterosexual family person who deals with the choice to stifle their homosexual desires that a choice to be who you desire to be is for everyone to make. This person is not right or wrong for choosing to be gay or straight, this person is a person who made a choice, a choice they stand behind each and everyday and are happy about. It was never was an easy choice and for them it is a struggle each and everyday that is easier some days and harder on others, just like the choices we make each and everyday to stifle our desires aren't easy, but it was the best choice for them. I think as long as we are making the best choices for ourselves we must then choose to be happy with those choices regardless of what other people think.
I didn't write this blog to upset anyone. I wrote it because it's something that I want to be able to read later and remember how I felt about this topic right now at this place in my life. This isn't a viewpoint I've always held and I don't know if I always will but I do know this, I love the people in my life and I am blessed by their relationships and their presence in my life...gay, straight or otherwise.
I met up with a lot of friends while I was in Seattle, and I would say that roughly half of the people I wanted to see while I was in Seattle happen to be gay. Now I'll be the first person to admit...I have horrible gaydar. I think that it's more that I don't really care if you're gay or straight and that translates into me not being very good at being able to tell what other people's sexual proclivities are. (Which, by the way, I am totally fine with.) But if you expect me to know you're gay or lesbian and you haven't told me, chances are...I'll have no idea when you finally decide to tell me.
I came to this realization when a former co-worker of mine asked me if I knew when we worked together that he was gay. I was kind of stuck on how to respond...so I was honest, I just said, "I don't know, I guess I didn't really care and I never really thought about it." Which was a fine answer and I think he was just more curious than anything else. But when we got home I said to Melanie, "He doesn't really seem gay does he?" and Melanie said "Well, I don't like to think of people that way. I would never say 'Well, he doesn't really act black does he?'"
Ouch! Man, I felt so stupid. I guess I was just glad that I hadn't said that in front of other people but it's so true. I felt so stupid and ignorant because I knew better than to say something like that. I think that the media's portrayal of gay men and women has permeated my thinking and I don't even realize that I have put some aspect of this whole group of people in a box. I like to think that I don't judge people on their anything, and I know that sometimes we make judgments that we don't even realize we are making (please see above comment,) but I guess I am glad that at least I realize that I have to be more sensitive to what I say.
It all comes down to one thing, I ADORE my gay and lesbian friends. They are all wonderful people who have treated me with nothing but love and respect. They are wonderful friends, family members, parents, etc. I don't judge them for their lifestyle and they don't judge me for mine.
Please don't make any assumptions on how I feel about this topic without asking me first however without getting into any of my feelings about whether "being gay" is right or wrong, I will say this, it's no secret to anyone that I believe in Christ and his message and the bible but I also believe it's not my place to pass judgment on anyone. I don't love you any less because you are a liar, cheater, lustful, etc. and I would not love my gay and lesbian friends any less because someone thinks they are committing a sin. And more importantly I don't believe Christ would love anyone less for any sin they commit because when it all comes down to it we are all sinners.
I know that there are people who would say "Well the bible says that it's wrong." Well the bible also says that a ton of other things are wrong too and I know people who do a lot of those things on a daily basis, me included, so why would I judge anyone for doing any of those things? Gay or straight you could still be a liar, cheater, lustful, etc. It's really that simple, unless you do something to me that would make me question if your friendship is right for me, then I have no right to say your lifestyle is reason enough for me not to be associated with you.
I do have to admit to one thing that I do feel that I know is somewhat controversial and could get me into hot water with some people but I met a person once who chose to ignore their feelings towards the same sex to pursue a family because they don't feel that being a homosexual person is right. This person is religious and feels that their feelings towards the same sex is just their issue to deal with, just like you and I might deal with addiction or lying or promiscuity.
I'm not arguing for or against born gay versus choosing to be gay because for me that really isn't the point. I just think everything is a choice. This person has taught me that you can choose to have a different life if that is what you want. Everything is a choice. I step outside the house and choose every single day not to be the person I once was. I loved a lot of who I was...it was fun, free, very different than who I am now and it's a difficult choice not to be that person each and every day for several reasons.
So this amazing person has taught me through their decision to be a heterosexual family person who deals with the choice to stifle their homosexual desires that a choice to be who you desire to be is for everyone to make. This person is not right or wrong for choosing to be gay or straight, this person is a person who made a choice, a choice they stand behind each and everyday and are happy about. It was never was an easy choice and for them it is a struggle each and everyday that is easier some days and harder on others, just like the choices we make each and everyday to stifle our desires aren't easy, but it was the best choice for them. I think as long as we are making the best choices for ourselves we must then choose to be happy with those choices regardless of what other people think.
I didn't write this blog to upset anyone. I wrote it because it's something that I want to be able to read later and remember how I felt about this topic right now at this place in my life. This isn't a viewpoint I've always held and I don't know if I always will but I do know this, I love the people in my life and I am blessed by their relationships and their presence in my life...gay, straight or otherwise.
Friday, May 8, 2009
Lost in the shuffle...
Do you ever wonder why you get that feeling?
Is it me?
Is it them?
Whatever it is...its a bummer.
Thursday, May 7, 2009
"I don't wanna live here."
I went to Seattle and Portland not just to visit but to figure out if the Pacific Northwest is where I want to make my next move to. Come to find out...
I don't want to live there.
I'm not sure why. I wish I could be say "it's this, this and this" but I honestly don't know. It just doesn't feel right for me. Which is kind of odd because I really love both Seattle and Portland. They are both gorgeous places, there are trees and mountains and water and bridges everywhere. There is AMAZING food which is extremely important to me and they are both very artistic places. On paper, so many things about both of those places seem 100% right but I can't deny the fact that I didn't feel it when I was there.
It's been kind of blowing my mind. A year or two ago I think I would have moved without question. So what changed? I thought I still wanted the same things in the place I move to but apparently I don't. Maybe it's the people or the big city. I would say maybe it's the weather but for the most part it was pretty nice while I was there and I can't really complain about the weather. I've never experienced the never ending days of rain. I'm not sure what it is.
I went to check out an art school in Portland and it really was exactly what I'm looking for. A small arts and craft college with an older student body and it was amazing. Made me want to be at school tomorrow and learning how to be a better artist. That said, it still didn't make Portland seem right.
I'm hoping that once I figure out where I want to go the why of "not Seattle" or "not Portland" will make more sense. I find myself being drawn more and more to the midwest and east. To smaller big cities and a slower pace. There are a lot of schools for me to go see in lots of different places. Hopefully one will speak to me and I'll be on my way.
I don't want to live there.
I'm not sure why. I wish I could be say "it's this, this and this" but I honestly don't know. It just doesn't feel right for me. Which is kind of odd because I really love both Seattle and Portland. They are both gorgeous places, there are trees and mountains and water and bridges everywhere. There is AMAZING food which is extremely important to me and they are both very artistic places. On paper, so many things about both of those places seem 100% right but I can't deny the fact that I didn't feel it when I was there.
It's been kind of blowing my mind. A year or two ago I think I would have moved without question. So what changed? I thought I still wanted the same things in the place I move to but apparently I don't. Maybe it's the people or the big city. I would say maybe it's the weather but for the most part it was pretty nice while I was there and I can't really complain about the weather. I've never experienced the never ending days of rain. I'm not sure what it is.
I went to check out an art school in Portland and it really was exactly what I'm looking for. A small arts and craft college with an older student body and it was amazing. Made me want to be at school tomorrow and learning how to be a better artist. That said, it still didn't make Portland seem right.
I'm hoping that once I figure out where I want to go the why of "not Seattle" or "not Portland" will make more sense. I find myself being drawn more and more to the midwest and east. To smaller big cities and a slower pace. There are a lot of schools for me to go see in lots of different places. Hopefully one will speak to me and I'll be on my way.
Wednesday, May 6, 2009
Homeless and Heartless
Alright here goes the first of blogs based on mini epiphanies I had on my vacation.
There are a lot of homeless people in Seattle and even more in Portland.
If you live here in So Cal, (minus LA,) I think we forget how large the homeless population really is because we actually live in the state that has been called the meanest to homeless and I think that since California is extremely non tolerant we don't really see a large homeless problem because, although it exists, we don't like to see them walking around our cities. It's almost like out of sight, out of mind.
Seattle and Portland are very different. There are homeless people everywhere and I'll be the first to admit I'm a sucker for a homeless person. Melanie got to see this first hand as we walked around Seattle and Portland and I gave money or food to almost every person that asked. It was kind of funny because I think Melanie was getting, at the very least, frustrated with me. She was pretty sure that none of those people were going to use the money for the things they said they were. I experienced the same thing when Katy was visiting from London. Coming from another place with a large population of beggars, she does not agree with me giving homeless people money. But I'll be the first person to hand over the $2 hanging out in my wallet or if I don't have small bills as Melanie witnessed first hand, I'll hand over my $5 bills too.
Now, don't get me wrong I don't for one second fault Melanie, Katy, or any else who doesn't give money to homeless people. Using Katy and Melanie as examples they are both wonderful loving people who care deeply about others and they are not wrong when they say that many people who ask for the money make a living that way. They make a living off people like me.
The difference for me is that I don't care. That may sound silly but I don't really worry or concern myself with what they are going to do with the $5 or half a pizza I gave to them. I guess I like to be positive and think that they are going to use the money for food like they said, but honestly if they took that $5 and bought beer I would still give it to them.
My way of thinking really changed when I read, Red Letters: Living a Faith that Bleeds by Tom Davis. The first chapter opens with their team in Russia and they come across a 12 - 13 year old boy who is wearing tattered clothes and he is speaking to them in Russian, which only their translator understands.
"But we did understand the voices inside our heads that spoke with equal measures of cynicism and sad resignation. Just another worthless beggar. If we gave him money, he'd probably spend it on drugs or cigarettes. If the kid really wanted help, there are plenty of shelters that could feed him or offer him a place to sleep." So Tom Davis did what so many of us do...he walked away. But he said something in his head told him to "act in a way consistent with the Savior I follow."
So he grabbed the translator and hollered for the kid and started with the simplest question, "What's your name?" Davis said, "He was no longer a beggar on the street. He was a little boy with a name...He had a story to tell. A story filled with pain and heartache. A story marked by hunger and homelessness...Just a little boy." The boy asks for Davis for help, for food, and Davis said that same voice in his head popped up and said "He'll probably buy vodka if I give him money. That inner voice - it's mine. And it very well could be speaking the truth. But it's not the voice I want to hear. I want to hear Jesus. Did he put conditions on the help he offered?"
So Davis gave money to the boy, enough for food and a bus ride to his organization, Children's Hope Chest's office in Russia and watched the boy walk away into the night. According to the story about an hour later Davis got a call from the organization saying the boy had arrived and that they would find him a safe place to live.
"My cynical inner voice was silenced."
It's an amazing story to me. One that goes much deeper than that because Davis goes on to talk about how that little boy became Jesus. Davis says he spends each day looking for Jesus because Jesus was an advocate for the helpless and in Matthew 25:40 Jesus said "Whenever you did one of these things to someone overlooked or ignored, that was me, you did it to me." So Davis believes that we can find God in the lives of the poor.
It's an awesome concept. And when I started that book it seems like about two years ago I was blown away. I know this much, that $2 in my pocket means very little to me. For the most part I would have to use it in addition to more money to buy something that I would like but for someone who has no food, no money, it's lunch and maybe dinner too. I could worry all day long about whether or not that $2 was used for food, or if that half a pizza I gave to a guy outside of Rite Aid in Portland was eaten or trashed but honestly it doesn't matter. I'm doing my best to live my life in a way that makes me feel like I am doing all that I can and in those little situations to be like Jesus and sometimes I think it's one of the easiest ways to help. And who knows, maybe someday my $2 will restore someones faith in humanity, or bring someone who's normally passed with disgust and annoyance a small amount of joy or fill the stomach of a person who hasn't had real food in days.
I'm not naive, I know many of the people who benefitted from the probably $40 worth of hand outs I gave in about a five day period will not use it on things they said they will. I know there are people who make a good living begging on the side of the freeway pulling at our heartstrings with their sad signs. But it's not my place to decide how they use that money or food and I'm ok with that.
I just challenge you to think...does it really matter if they use that money for what they say they will or does it matter that you did all you could in that moment?
I think there are a lot of things we can do and my friend Chris actually posted an awesome three part blog on something similar. I read it as I was mulling over all of this in Seattle and he brings up some pretty great point. You can get to his blog here, or you can click on the three links below if you want to go directly to each post.
As Yourself. Part One.
As Yourself, Part Two.
As Yourself, Part Three.
There are a lot of homeless people in Seattle and even more in Portland.
If you live here in So Cal, (minus LA,) I think we forget how large the homeless population really is because we actually live in the state that has been called the meanest to homeless and I think that since California is extremely non tolerant we don't really see a large homeless problem because, although it exists, we don't like to see them walking around our cities. It's almost like out of sight, out of mind.
Seattle and Portland are very different. There are homeless people everywhere and I'll be the first to admit I'm a sucker for a homeless person. Melanie got to see this first hand as we walked around Seattle and Portland and I gave money or food to almost every person that asked. It was kind of funny because I think Melanie was getting, at the very least, frustrated with me. She was pretty sure that none of those people were going to use the money for the things they said they were. I experienced the same thing when Katy was visiting from London. Coming from another place with a large population of beggars, she does not agree with me giving homeless people money. But I'll be the first person to hand over the $2 hanging out in my wallet or if I don't have small bills as Melanie witnessed first hand, I'll hand over my $5 bills too.
Now, don't get me wrong I don't for one second fault Melanie, Katy, or any else who doesn't give money to homeless people. Using Katy and Melanie as examples they are both wonderful loving people who care deeply about others and they are not wrong when they say that many people who ask for the money make a living that way. They make a living off people like me.
The difference for me is that I don't care. That may sound silly but I don't really worry or concern myself with what they are going to do with the $5 or half a pizza I gave to them. I guess I like to be positive and think that they are going to use the money for food like they said, but honestly if they took that $5 and bought beer I would still give it to them.
My way of thinking really changed when I read, Red Letters: Living a Faith that Bleeds by Tom Davis. The first chapter opens with their team in Russia and they come across a 12 - 13 year old boy who is wearing tattered clothes and he is speaking to them in Russian, which only their translator understands.
"But we did understand the voices inside our heads that spoke with equal measures of cynicism and sad resignation. Just another worthless beggar. If we gave him money, he'd probably spend it on drugs or cigarettes. If the kid really wanted help, there are plenty of shelters that could feed him or offer him a place to sleep." So Tom Davis did what so many of us do...he walked away. But he said something in his head told him to "act in a way consistent with the Savior I follow."
So he grabbed the translator and hollered for the kid and started with the simplest question, "What's your name?" Davis said, "He was no longer a beggar on the street. He was a little boy with a name...He had a story to tell. A story filled with pain and heartache. A story marked by hunger and homelessness...Just a little boy." The boy asks for Davis for help, for food, and Davis said that same voice in his head popped up and said "He'll probably buy vodka if I give him money. That inner voice - it's mine. And it very well could be speaking the truth. But it's not the voice I want to hear. I want to hear Jesus. Did he put conditions on the help he offered?"
So Davis gave money to the boy, enough for food and a bus ride to his organization, Children's Hope Chest's office in Russia and watched the boy walk away into the night. According to the story about an hour later Davis got a call from the organization saying the boy had arrived and that they would find him a safe place to live.
"My cynical inner voice was silenced."
It's an amazing story to me. One that goes much deeper than that because Davis goes on to talk about how that little boy became Jesus. Davis says he spends each day looking for Jesus because Jesus was an advocate for the helpless and in Matthew 25:40 Jesus said "Whenever you did one of these things to someone overlooked or ignored, that was me, you did it to me." So Davis believes that we can find God in the lives of the poor.
It's an awesome concept. And when I started that book it seems like about two years ago I was blown away. I know this much, that $2 in my pocket means very little to me. For the most part I would have to use it in addition to more money to buy something that I would like but for someone who has no food, no money, it's lunch and maybe dinner too. I could worry all day long about whether or not that $2 was used for food, or if that half a pizza I gave to a guy outside of Rite Aid in Portland was eaten or trashed but honestly it doesn't matter. I'm doing my best to live my life in a way that makes me feel like I am doing all that I can and in those little situations to be like Jesus and sometimes I think it's one of the easiest ways to help. And who knows, maybe someday my $2 will restore someones faith in humanity, or bring someone who's normally passed with disgust and annoyance a small amount of joy or fill the stomach of a person who hasn't had real food in days.
I'm not naive, I know many of the people who benefitted from the probably $40 worth of hand outs I gave in about a five day period will not use it on things they said they will. I know there are people who make a good living begging on the side of the freeway pulling at our heartstrings with their sad signs. But it's not my place to decide how they use that money or food and I'm ok with that.
I just challenge you to think...does it really matter if they use that money for what they say they will or does it matter that you did all you could in that moment?
I think there are a lot of things we can do and my friend Chris actually posted an awesome three part blog on something similar. I read it as I was mulling over all of this in Seattle and he brings up some pretty great point. You can get to his blog here, or you can click on the three links below if you want to go directly to each post.
As Yourself. Part One.
As Yourself, Part Two.
As Yourself, Part Three.
This came across my path this morning.
It's not one of the things I wanted to blog about from my trip but it's definitely one of my favorite topics. So I came across "10 Ways to Reduce your Environmental Footprint," and most of them are very doable. I think a lot of times we just don't think about the things we consume and the impact one little change can make.
Here's the list:
1. Eat less beef, pork, and lamb
2. Eat out at restaurants less often
3. Eat fewer dairy products
4. Drink fewer soft drinks
5. Eat seasonal and local fruits and vegetables
6. Eat fewer packaged snacks and junk food
7. Upgrade to an energy efficient refrigerator
8. Eat wild fish that are not endangered
9. Drink less bottled water
10. Walk to your local farmers market or grocery store
I already have been working on #1, #6 and #9. I've embarked on a vegetarian journey, I am working on buying my snacks out of the bins at stores like Henry's and bought a stainless steel water bottle for my water a couple months ago that I really love.
You can find the whole article here, and I think you'll be surprised at how much waste comes from cheese and soda. And it kind of blew my mind that "It takes 3 liters of water to produce 1 liter of bottled water." Check it out and let me know what you think.
Here's the list:
1. Eat less beef, pork, and lamb
2. Eat out at restaurants less often
3. Eat fewer dairy products
4. Drink fewer soft drinks
5. Eat seasonal and local fruits and vegetables
6. Eat fewer packaged snacks and junk food
7. Upgrade to an energy efficient refrigerator
8. Eat wild fish that are not endangered
9. Drink less bottled water
10. Walk to your local farmers market or grocery store
I already have been working on #1, #6 and #9. I've embarked on a vegetarian journey, I am working on buying my snacks out of the bins at stores like Henry's and bought a stainless steel water bottle for my water a couple months ago that I really love.
You can find the whole article here, and I think you'll be surprised at how much waste comes from cheese and soda. And it kind of blew my mind that "It takes 3 liters of water to produce 1 liter of bottled water." Check it out and let me know what you think.
Tuesday, May 5, 2009
I've got some things to say to you.
While I was away in Seattle I posted quite a few little picture blogs from my phone but I found myself unwilling to sit down and post a longer blog. Maybe it was the fact that every minute I was gone was planned out doing some activity with some person or maybe it was the vacation thing. You know that thing where you kind of don’t want to think about “real life” because you’re on vacation. Whatever it was, I thought about five different things that I really want to blog about, so look for the first one soon.
Sunday, May 3, 2009
Dick's is suppposed to be better than In-N-Out
There's all this hype about Dick's up here...so I tried it and for the record, In-N-Out puts Dick's to shame!
I gotta get home so I don't have to try anymore food things! :)
Experience Music Project - EMP
The EMP is a museum here in Seattle. Pretty awesome. The Johnny Cash and the 90's grunge and Nirvana stuff were my favs...but the BEST part was the sci fi museum. That was all kinds of amazing. I had to sneak photos of the sci fi stuff so there are only two.
Friday, May 1, 2009
Pho real
We had Vietnamese for dinner. Peter and Melanie had pho...I did not...but the sweet potatoes with the spicy sweet chile sauce was amazing. And check my fortune.
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