Alright here goes the first of blogs based on mini epiphanies I had on my vacation.
There are a lot of homeless people in Seattle and even more in Portland.
If you live here in So Cal, (minus LA,) I think we forget how large the homeless population really is because we actually live in the state that has been called the meanest to homeless and I think that since California is extremely non tolerant we don't really see a large homeless problem because, although it exists, we don't like to see them walking around our cities. It's almost like out of sight, out of mind.
Seattle and Portland are very different. There are homeless people everywhere and I'll be the first to admit I'm a sucker for a homeless person. Melanie got to see this first hand as we walked around Seattle and Portland and I gave money or food to almost every person that asked. It was kind of funny because I think Melanie was getting, at the very least, frustrated with me. She was pretty sure that none of those people were going to use the money for the things they said they were. I experienced the same thing when Katy was visiting from London. Coming from another place with a large population of beggars, she does not agree with me giving homeless people money. But I'll be the first person to hand over the $2 hanging out in my wallet or if I don't have small bills as Melanie witnessed first hand, I'll hand over my $5 bills too.
Now, don't get me wrong I don't for one second fault Melanie, Katy, or any else who doesn't give money to homeless people. Using Katy and Melanie as examples they are both wonderful loving people who care deeply about others and they are not wrong when they say that many people who ask for the money make a living that way. They make a living off people like me.
The difference for me is that I don't care. That may sound silly but I don't really worry or concern myself with what they are going to do with the $5 or half a pizza I gave to them. I guess I like to be positive and think that they are going to use the money for food like they said, but honestly if they took that $5 and bought beer I would still give it to them.
My way of thinking really changed when I read, Red Letters: Living a Faith that Bleeds by Tom Davis. The first chapter opens with their team in Russia and they come across a 12 - 13 year old boy who is wearing tattered clothes and he is speaking to them in Russian, which only their translator understands.
"But we did understand the voices inside our heads that spoke with equal measures of cynicism and sad resignation. Just another worthless beggar. If we gave him money, he'd probably spend it on drugs or cigarettes. If the kid really wanted help, there are plenty of shelters that could feed him or offer him a place to sleep." So Tom Davis did what so many of us do...he walked away. But he said something in his head told him to "act in a way consistent with the Savior I follow."
So he grabbed the translator and hollered for the kid and started with the simplest question, "What's your name?" Davis said, "He was no longer a beggar on the street. He was a little boy with a name...He had a story to tell. A story filled with pain and heartache. A story marked by hunger and homelessness...Just a little boy." The boy asks for Davis for help, for food, and Davis said that same voice in his head popped up and said "He'll probably buy vodka if I give him money. That inner voice - it's mine. And it very well could be speaking the truth. But it's not the voice I want to hear. I want to hear Jesus. Did he put conditions on the help he offered?"
So Davis gave money to the boy, enough for food and a bus ride to his organization, Children's Hope Chest's office in Russia and watched the boy walk away into the night. According to the story about an hour later Davis got a call from the organization saying the boy had arrived and that they would find him a safe place to live.
"My cynical inner voice was silenced."
It's an amazing story to me. One that goes much deeper than that because Davis goes on to talk about how that little boy became Jesus. Davis says he spends each day looking for Jesus because Jesus was an advocate for the helpless and in Matthew 25:40 Jesus said "Whenever you did one of these things to someone overlooked or ignored, that was me, you did it to me." So Davis believes that we can find God in the lives of the poor.
It's an awesome concept. And when I started that book it seems like about two years ago I was blown away. I know this much, that $2 in my pocket means very little to me. For the most part I would have to use it in addition to more money to buy something that I would like but for someone who has no food, no money, it's lunch and maybe dinner too. I could worry all day long about whether or not that $2 was used for food, or if that half a pizza I gave to a guy outside of Rite Aid in Portland was eaten or trashed but honestly it doesn't matter. I'm doing my best to live my life in a way that makes me feel like I am doing all that I can and in those little situations to be like Jesus and sometimes I think it's one of the easiest ways to help. And who knows, maybe someday my $2 will restore someones faith in humanity, or bring someone who's normally passed with disgust and annoyance a small amount of joy or fill the stomach of a person who hasn't had real food in days.
I'm not naive, I know many of the people who benefitted from the probably $40 worth of hand outs I gave in about a five day period will not use it on things they said they will. I know there are people who make a good living begging on the side of the freeway pulling at our heartstrings with their sad signs. But it's not my place to decide how they use that money or food and I'm ok with that.
I just challenge you to think...does it really matter if they use that money for what they say they will or does it matter that you did all you could in that moment?
I think there are a lot of things we can do and my friend Chris actually posted an awesome three part blog on something similar. I read it as I was mulling over all of this in Seattle and he brings up some pretty great point. You can get to his blog here, or you can click on the three links below if you want to go directly to each post.
As Yourself. Part One.
As Yourself, Part Two.
As Yourself, Part Three.
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3 comments:
It's funny that you mentioned "Red Letters" because I'm with you on the whole concept. I'll always give regardless of what I think they may or may not spend it on.
So when I read that in the book I use that story whenever someone gives me a hard time for passing out money.
Realistically... we aren't going to die from not having the $5 dollars in our pocket. I would rather hope they use it for good and let God handle his business.
Well put!
While I sympathize with your wanting to be more selfless like Christ, I still struggle with this concept. The story of this boy is most likely quite different from the story of the person in Seattle or Portland. I'm sure not every person has the same story, but there are many who are on the street because that is the direct consequence of their decisions. I have a heart for them too. It's sad that they sleep outside and get treated so poorly by the majority of the population. However, as I was telling one of my friends in a recent conversation we had, at what point is it actually helping them? Food is another story (at least for me). When I am able to and have time, I will buy food for someone that asks. It just doesn't seem to make any sense to give them money though. It seems more enabling than anything else. Ultimately, it's not going to help them at all. It sucks that it has to be that way but it seems like there is nothing that can be done for someone that doesn't want to help themselves. In my experience, I have seen many a homeless person who doesn't want to help themselves. More often than not. It's an ugly situation from whatever angle you try to look at it. That's just my opinion. I take the "tough love" stance and hope that perhaps one day, there will be a better solution.
Josh: I agree that there are a lot of homeless people out there who are in their situation because of decisions that they have made...but on the other side of the coin there are those who are there regardless of making the best choices they could. So for me, because we don't always have the opportunity to sit and talk with each and every person and ask them their story, we just have to do what we feel is right. I would love to buy every person asking for food something to eat however that just isn't possible. I honestly don't think it's for me to decide if my $2 is enabling them because all it takes is for one person to be impacted by my $2 and that would make all the other $2 worth it. I think that's making a judgment to say "there is nothing that can be done for someone that doesn't want to help themselves" because you can't classify all homeless people into one category just like you can't classify all (fill in the blank) into one category. I know that it's a very optimistic, trusting thing to say that I hope that it's making a difference but I'm ok with that. I would like to hope that it will make a difference at some point to some person. If I had the time, resources, etc I would love to talk to, share a meal with, etc. every homeless person I came across but that's not realistic either so I just do what works best for me.
And I understand what you're saying too, and I say you have to do what's best for you as well. :)
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